Zone’in Workshops

Hi Lenore,

Pediatric occupational therapist Cris Rowan here again. I’m intrigued with your comment that ‘fear of blame’ leads to parents’ bubble-wrapping their kids. In my practice working with kids and parents, I do see an increasing trend of bubble-wrapping, but I’m not so sure that ‘fear of blame’ is the causal factor. I think guilt over not spending more quality time with their children fuels your observed bubble-wrapping mania.

Possibly looking at attachment theory would serve your readers well on this topic (I think we discussed this on the phone)? There are three types of attachment disorders: avoidant, ambivalent and disorganized. Avoidant attachment is where the parent simply isn’t there. Technology addictions, working long hours and hiring nannies are all forms of avoidant attachment. Ambivalent attachment is where the parent is in the kid’s face 24/7, but only in a caretaking (not loving) way. Disorganized attachment is where the parent fluctuates between avoidant and ambivalent, and the child has no predictability, usually found in parents with addictions.

Today’s technology obsessed parents seem to have difficulty forming healthy attachments with their children. Connection to technology is resulting in a ‘disconnect’ from family life. The uneasiness and guilt around a parent’s failure to attach to their children, results in a buying spree of the latest and the greatest toys, TV’s, iPods, cell phones and videogames. Parental guilt about not being more involved and connected to their children is causing an epidemic of TV and videogame addiction in today’s child, with horrendous results (see attached).

What today’s parents are NOT doing is connecting with their kids. There is almost a ‘fear’ of connection in today’s families. While parents want to seem as if they are connected to their children, every action appears otherwise. Purchase of endless technology only serves to further ‘disconnect’ parents and children. Hiring nannies, working long hours, and being addicted to technology themselves, toady’s parents are moving further and further away from what they should cherish the most, their children. The three critical factors for child development are to move, touch and connect. We live in a society that is failing miserably to meet these critical needs for our children.

Sincerely,

Cris Rowan, BScOT, BScBi, SIPT
CEO Zone’in Programs Inc.
6840 Seaview Rd.
Sechelt, BC V0N3A4
604-885-0986 office, 604-885-0389 fax, 604-740-2264 cell
crowan@zonein.ca