Zone’in Workshops

We all do it. We all, at some time or another, prefer to pick up the remote or Blackberry, or connect to the internet or TV – rather than have a conversation with our spouse, children or co-workers. Sometimes connecting to the virtual world is just easier than connecting to humans, and at first glance, appears to be a lot more interesting and exciting! Let’s face it, for years human relationships have proven complex, confusing, and down right difficult, resulting in a myriad of self help books, therapists and divorce. What is unique about human relationships in the 21st century, is that the performance bar has now been set higher. To get a little bit of love and human connection, parents, children and workers are now required to compete with the seductive lure of technology, which is threatening the very fabric of life as we used to know it. While change and technological advancement can have a positive impact on society, if it is unmanaged and unregulated, the results can be devastating. Family, school, and workplace environments are now on the verge of what can be termed the “Triple Disconnect” – from self, others and nature. Identity and attachment formation can only happen in relationship to others, and is best facilitated in nature based settings. Connection to technology is causing a disconnection from what we used to hold dear and close to our hearts.

Having recently completed a course on attachment theory and treatment, I find myself growing more and more concerned regarding the impact of technology on 21st century family structure and primary attachment formation. Human attachment is a biological need, without which, we would die. For hundreds of years, human beings have been a “pack” animal, with an established intrinsic role and purpose. While technology was designed for human efficiency, it has also had the effect of distancing humans from each other, diminishing the need for the human “pack”. Can human beings adapt to this growing sense of isolation from each other, and what will be the impact on young infants and children who have little or no contact with their parents? This article will provide readers with a brief review of attachment theory, and application of attachment theory to current family technology usage.

Attachment Theory

John Bowlby, a British psychoanalyst in the 40’s and 50’s identified that every human being requires a “secure base” from which they can move out into the world, and a “safe haven” where they can return to organize themselves. Bowlby defined attachment as an emotional bond between parent and child, and is essential for survival as the attachment bond allows the child to get their needs met. Mary Ainsworth, a developmental psychologist in the 50’s and 60’s designed a method to test Bowlby’s theory and discovered three distinct attachment behavior patterns which were categorized as follows:

Type A – avoidant attachment where the parent rejects, neglects or ridicules the child. Type A children minimize emotion when distressed, repress their feelings, and become overly reliant on self to get their needs met. Type A children recognize the parent’s need to NOT be needed.

Type B – secure attachment where the parent is consistent, predictable with the child, and the child learns they can get their needs met simply by expressing their needs.

Type C – ambivalent attachment where the parent is unpredictable and inconsistent with the child. Type C children show extreme negative emotion when distressed, excessively express their feelings, and become overly reliant on others to get their needs met. Type C children give up “me” to be with “you”.

Impact of Technology on Attachment

To my knowledge, the impact of technology on primary attachment formation has not received adequate research attention. Research does indicate that fear of intimacy is an underlying factor for addictions in adults, and this fear has it’s origin in failed primary attachment. We also know that attachment to technologies such as TV’s, movies, internet, video games, cell phones and iPods are resulting in a “detachment” from all that is human. Human detachment resulting from technology overuse is happening at such a rapid pace, it’s difficult to determine what would be the immediate, much less long term effects. One only has to reflect on current child health and academic statistics to know that something is seriously wrong with how we are raising and schooling our children. 15% of children are obese, 15% developmentally delayed, 14.3% diagnosed with mental health disorders, and 20-30% of children experience learning difficulties. All of aforementioned problems are associated with overuse of technology. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends 1-2 hours per day technology use, yet children use 8 hours per day. Where are the parents? Internet addiction is now the fastest rising mental illness in adults.

With all this connection to technology, primary relationships are disconnecting, or worse, not even forming at all. Human attachment profoundly influences every aspect of human development: mind, body, emotions, social ability, values and productivity. We know that securely attached infants, toddlers and children have better self esteem, independence, autonomy, enduring friendships, trust and intimacy, impulse control, empathy and compassion, and resilience. What will happen when Type A and C attachment styles dominate society? What will Type A and C parents be like, and what type of third generation detached children will they produce? Relatedness will truly be a character trait of the past, as human beings grow ever more isolated, yet at the same time, ever more needy.

Supporting Attachment Websites:

Attachment Early Intervention Program – www.circleofsecurity.org
Dr. Pat Crittenden’s website – www.patcrittenden.com
Kim Barthel’s website – www.labrinthyinejourneys.com
Centre for Successful Parenting – www.sosparents.org

Certification Course on Attachment

Attachment course instructors were occupational therapists Kim Barthel and Irmie Nickel who follow Dr. Pat Crittenden’s Dynamic-Maturational Model of attachment and adaptation. This course is highly recommended for all education and health professionals working with children. Contact information is the Aulneau Renewal Centre Inc.